I hate saying no. I don't know why, if it's some kind of innate people-pleasing thing, or not wanting to miss out on anything. I have a hard time with that word. As a small biz owner who works with a number of different clients, my initial impulse is to say "Yes, yes yes!" to every project that comes my way.
But, over the past few years on this journey, I've learned that this isn't always the best thing to do. Trust your gut. It's really easy to ignore the tiny little voice of intuition, that so often gets drowned out with the din of everyday life. When I've gone against it, I've found myself in situations that are less than ideal. I've been able to look back on a few occasions and realized that my intuition was there all along, I just didn't hear her.
I've had two situations recently where I've had to flex that "No" muscle (it gets stronger the more you use it). In one case, a client was continually pushing for work beyond the scope of our project, but did not want to pay for the additional services. So I said no. The client then wanted a refund on the services already completed - Again, I said no.
Let's say you go to the dentist and get a cleaning. Then, after the cleaning, you decide you want braces, too, for free. The dentist (logically) refuses. Would you then expect a refund on the cleaning that's already been done? I don't think so.
The second situation was a little different. This one was a more of a gray area, and I struggled with my decision (again, listening to that tiny voice). The project was for a good cause and a bit more high profile. But it's completely pro-bono. As a still-struggling small business, I wasn't sure I had the resources to take on the project. Additionally, in order to do the project well, it would take a fairly significant time investment during what is already an incredibly busy time of year for me. But I think the biggest factor in the decision was an intuition thing, that I just wasn't sure the client valued my time or input, and when it's pro-bono you need to be fully committed. So I said no, somewhat reluctantly.
In both of the above situations, I provided the clients with alternative solutions they could move forward with.
Keep in mind the big N-O is a powerful tool, to be wielded with care. You'll know when you've used it correctly because you'll feel that a weight has been lifted. And you'll create more space for other more positive opportunities to come in. I still say yes
most of the time! And I've been fortunate that the majority of my clients are a true pleasure to work with.
